The divorce rate in the UK is still very high and rising. As a result a lot of adult men and women find them selves alone. Being available again makes them wonder how to enter the playing field of meeting other singles. Having been in a relationship for a long time, entering the singles market can be a daunting experience.
Just imagine after 15 years or more of waking up besides the person you shared your life with, you suddenly find yourself greeting the mornings alone again. For many it is an overwhelming thought having to date again. Many men and women struggle with damaged self-esteem after a painful break up. This leaves many divorced people worried about their ability to begin another relationship, let alone the rusty dating skills.
So how do you deal with these obstacles successfully and enter the dating arena in a healthy manner again?
1) It is really important to set personal standards
This will help to decide what you want out of life but most off to avoid acting in a desperate manner when meeting singles. This desperation generally stems from sadness and anxiety of being alone.
They find them selves with feelings that they are in the worst possible situation in their life at that time.
This leads most to act in desperate ways:
• a one-night stand,
• calling the ex
• ignoring intuitive warnings
• jumping into a bad relationship
…basically doing things that people normally wouldn’t do if they weren’t in that situation.
2) Find new friends
Friends that are shared with both parties often unwittingly take sides. When introducing someone new into your life, those alliances can prove a hindrance. Old friends generally don’t show the interest or compassion that is needed. Another issue is that these old friends can be very jealous seeing somebody having their freedom back. New friends often have a fresh perspective that helps the self-esteem of those trying to date again.
3) Create a positive self-concept
It is a well known fact that those with low self-esteem tend to create relationships with others who evaluate them negatively. Those suffering from a negative self-image should start with writing down all their positive qualities. Then hang this list somewhere in the house where it is visible.
Start sharing this list with your new found friends and ask them for honest feedback. This will really help to work on clarifying any discrepancies between your ‘self-image’ and the real you.
Those who feel victimized after a ‘break up’ may do well to develop a defiant attitude. When feeling defiant you become excited and confident but most importantly ready to take action. You are basically making it pretty clear that you are not going to let divorce ruin your life. This is an extremely healthy thing to do.
In the end the best advice for entering the dating game again is to try a number of strategies and choose the ones you are most comfortable with. This may mean for some people to simply get into the right frame of mind again. For others it could be trying something new or even doing something out of their comfort zone. At the end of the day you have to trust your inner wisdom.
A great dating site I came across is cupid.com, they cover many areas in the UK. Some examples are London dating, Birmingham dating and Leeds dating to name but a few. Good luck in finding your soul mate.